free . to . choose
November 30th, 2008
free . to . choose, originally uploaded by s t e r n f a h r e r.
free . to . choose, originally uploaded by s t e r n f a h r e r.
There’s a hum in the air. I’m sure I can hear it. I can feel it. It’s so loud, it hurts my mind. I’m numb, I can’t take my mind off it, I don’t know what to do about it. No one can help me. No one else can even hear it. I’m writing this down. In the middle of nowhere, in the middle of notime, with no thought in my head. Only the humming in the air around me, and footsteps approaching.
Who is it? I can’t see. It’s dark. “Who is it!?”, I shout. The darkness laughs back in silence. Am I awake, or is this a dream? What does it mean, to be awake, if this is being awake? What does it mean to be dreaming, if this is a dream? If this is a dream, whose dream is it? It can’t be mine. It must be someone else’s dream. But how can that be? Can you be awake, can you be aware, in someone else’s dream?
The mind shudders to accept what should not be.
A light approaches. No. It’s not approaching. It’s fading away. Should I follow? I’m afraid. Being in the darkness for so long I now fear the light. Do I stay here and wait? Do I follow the light?
I move towards it. The hum grows stronger. Am I doing the right thing? The hum reverberates in my head. The light dancing on my eyes breathes new horror with each flicker. But it’s all in my mind. I’m sure I have to follow this light. I walk.
There’s a door, made of blinding light. I walk through. It’s light everywhere. Bright, white, blinding light. I keep walking. I look around, I look back. There’s nothing there. It’s all light now. Only a speck of darkness in all of it. The dark door from which I emerged.
The humming starts again. It dawns on me then. I am lost.
Tags: dostoevsky, existentialism, Friedman, ideas, life, Lovecraft, nature of choice, Nietzsche, philosophy
Posted in Politics/Ideas, reflections | Comments (4)
December 1st, 2008 at 3:53 am
I think you should write further. Make it a great novel or something.
December 1st, 2008 at 6:27 am
With time, the hum turns into a droning buzz. Your eardrum hurt because it feels like someone’s trying to rip it out of your head through that small opening, your eyes tear, like a fumes of death have wafted through every opening in your body.
Now you cannot process, see or feel. The candle just blew out.
December 1st, 2008 at 6:54 am
I was just talking about making choices, FWIW! :-s
December 1st, 2008 at 8:49 am
ummmm aditya… i want to comment.. but the rest of the comments are really wise… and intellectual… Im not in this league very much
But as usual, very well written. U kno im ur fan. (muhahahahahahahaha)!